Hospitality in Worship

From the singers in the seats to the musicians on stage, everyone enters the worship space with their own mindsets and experiences. How does the worship leader make everyone feel welcome and included?  Daniel and Jason share some thoughts and stories.

Two Great Questions from the Podcast

Joe Krol asks: How do you ensure the heart is there for every member of the team? We can't judge people’s hearts, but they act, "look at me…”

Daniel:  So you’re feeling like the folks have an attitude where it seems like they’re not there for the right motivation?  Sometimes people get too excited about having people in the band and they haven’t gone through the process of actually connecting with the church.  My dad was a pastor of a church in Cape Town and we used to have people come through the church that were great musicians and they’d tell him they’d like to be involved in the worship team on the first Sunday they were there.  My dad would say, “come for a couple of months and let’s see how it goes and we can get you into it.  Then, invariably they would disappear.  The only reason they really wanted to be there was just to get a gig.  [In leadership we can] see it as a challenge to really look after those people. 

Jason:  What you’re speaking to is that pastoring piece.  We’ve done a podcast about having non-believers on the team, what’s that like, and sometimes a service to the church ends up becoming your community.  Maybe you’re not a full believer but you like those people, you’ve connected in that way, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.  It’s the piece of being a worship pastor – how you communicate, how you run your practices… because it’s also a set of expectations that we get to set, especially when people join the team, sitting down with them to say, ‘here’s how we do things, here’s what we value.’  Then, as long as you as the pastor are living out that value, I think you’re in good shape there.  It is relational.  If you feel like a person doesn’t have the right kind of attitude, you can coach that a little bit.  But what you don’t want to do is put people down.  Some say, ‘you think you’re so hot!’  Maybe they don’t!  Maybe they just don’t know how to act, maybe it’s based on their stage presence, it could be so many things.  You just have to be careful not to tear people down in order to “humble them.”

Daniel:  That guy that’s mocking you is probably just ticked off; he might have wanted to be a guitar player his whole life.

 We don’t have to create this perfect scenario; it’s more important to engage with everybody the whole way through. 

Daniel:  We do these events where we have a majority of older people in the room.  At the beginning, I say, “if you’re able to stand and you’d like to stand with us, then feel free, we’re going to worship the Lord.”  Instead of saying, “hey everybody, STAND UP! We’re going to worship God right now!”  Then they could think, “if I don’t stand up right now, I’ve missed it!”  We’re giving people the opportunity.  It’s just the thoughtfulness of realizing we’re in a room of people of different ages.  [Communicate that] this is a welcoming space we’ve created.  Another thing is that you might read something that is inclusive or community-based, then say, “just think about the fact that we’re together with people all over the world together, singing songs to Jesus, and we’re stoked to be one small part of that.  Let’s sing together.”  I’ve heard that before as part of the opening part of the service.  “Right now, there are churches everywhere connecting with God.  We’re one little part of that.  Let’s lift our voices with everybody.  That means you’re acknowledging you’re part of a bigger body of Christ and that you’re not that important, as a leader.  You’re just one guy encouraging everyone else to lift up their voices with all the saints at the same time. 

Jason:  It has to do with your demeanor.  Sometimes when a person is uncomfortable leading on stage or they’ve only seen it done one way, they start shouting over everybody and aren’t looking anyone in the eye.  It seems like they’re creating a show.  But I don’t think they’re trying to be showy, they’re just not having connection.   I always try to make eye contact with people and then just talk like I normally would.  I usually crack some joke, then lay out the whole idea that we’re all just here to sing together, so let’s lift our voices.  Then if I notice people aren’t all singing together, I’ll invite them to sing the chorus again.  Or if I sense that people don’t know the song that well, sometimes I’ll even teach the song halfway through it.  I think engaging and talking with people as you would any other point in your day, as you would if you invited someone over to your house, “let’s all join together.  This is an amazing thing that we all get to do.  Let’s lift our voices together.”

Daniel:  A lot of times you practice the songs but you don’t practice what you’re going to say in between the songs or even before the songs.  There’s nothing wrong with planning what you’re going to say.

Jason:  It’s actually better to plan what you’re going to say, usually!

Daniel:  Yeah, so there’s no weird heresy coming out.  “Everybody ready to rock?!”  I think it’s a good thing to lead in with a song that talks about why we’re there.  You could sing the chorus of Here I Am To Worship really softly on acoustic guitar, then lead into ‘up’ songs, just something that brings people in into that moment of feeling included. 

Jason:  That invitation is such an important part because it engages us.  Part of it is being in the room.  You don’t want to just get on a track and just run your set thinking, “why isn’t anyone singing along?”  Last week—I have the sound board in front of me because we have a unique setup at our church—I started playing and realized my guitar was too loud, I can’t hear everybody sing.  So I got through the first verse, stopped, and lowered the sound on my guitar.  “It’s too loud, I can’t hear everyone sing!”  Everyone gets a laugh, boom, and everyone sings even louder.  We don’t have to create this perfect scenario; it’s important to engage with everybody the whole way through. 

Do what you can to be as ready as you can, and if everything falls apart you can still worship the Lord.  Sometimes that's when it's the best. 

Daniel:  That hits the nail on the head!  This idea that we have to create something perfect puts pressure on you.  Then when it doesn’t go perfect, which often happens, because there are so many factors, you feel awkward and bummed.  Then as soon as the people see you’re unhappy, they feel sorry for you, and then it’s awkward.  But if you’ve got nothing to lose and you feel that it doesn’t matter what happens that morning, we’re going to worship God.  If that’s your starting point, you can’t be let down.  You can’t say, “oh no, the slides didn’t work” or “oh, my guitar was this or that.”  Do what you can to be as ready as you can, and if everything falls apart you can still totally worship the Lord.  Sometimes that's when it's the best. 

Jason:  People love it when you make mistakes and humanize it.  Ill never forget—this set the whole tone for my worship leading career.  The first time I lead a service by myself, there was a woman who always sat on the front row, her name was Jenny.  She was mentally disabled and had a loud, monotone voice.  After the first song, she said so loudly, “You’re doing a good job, Jason!”  “Thanks, Jenny, I’m doing my best!”  You know how in acting, they say you’re not supposed to break that ‘fourth wall’ and talk to your audience.  In worship, there should be no fourth wall!

Daniel:  Look at people and don’t close your eyes.  It’s going to help people feel included.  Often [leaders] close their eyes and just sing, and they’re shutting themselves off from the people.  If you feel too awkward to look directly into someone’s eyes while you sing, look over the tops of their heads and it looks like you’re looking at everybody. 

Jason: I like to pick one person and stare at them the entire time, right in their eyes—not awkward at all!

Daniel: Especially when it’s the drummer and you just turn around and look at him!